Coping with a Life-Changing Diagnosis

Reaching out for help.

January 3, 2024 | Dr. Joel L. Young

Life is a finite thing. Many of us will face a devastating diagnosis at some point—whether in the form of a chronic illness, like diabetes, a disease from which you eventually recover, like a serious infection, or even something that eventually ends your life, like cancer. One of the many challenges of dealing with a life-altering diagnosis is that you may not know how it will affect you. There is simply no way to predict, and for some people, the uncertainty is almost as bad as the diagnosis itself.

Though there's no way to prepare for a challenging diagnosis, and little you can do to mitigate the initial shock, a number of strategies can help you make it through the inevitable challenges.

Join a support group

Many providers specialize in giving information that's scientifically verifiable, but not all useful information is supported by peer-reviewed studies. It can be helpful to know which nutrition programs, exercise regimens, or lifestyle changes have worked for others. A support group also offers you a judgment-free space to speak freely, and the chance to learn about others' experiences. You'll be able to ask questions about your doctor, complain about any poor quality medical care, and get assistance finding the best team possible for your individual needs.

Join a support group as early as possible. If you're anxious about doing so in person or don't have a lot of time, consider an online group or a message forum instead. Just remember that information from your support group is no substitute for actual medical advice.

Reach out to loved ones

Even if your relationship with your family is strained and you only have a handful of friends, the people who love you will likely be happy to help. The challenge is that many of them might not know how best to do so. Concerned about overwhelming you or intruding, they might lay low and do nothing until they get the green light from you. If people ask what they can do or volunteer to help, don't shy away from asking for what you specifically need. The worst they can do is say no, but in most cases, they'll be relieved to have an opportunity to make your life a bit more manageable.

Seek psychotherapy

Therapy isn't just for people who struggle with mental health issues. It can also help you construct more productive ways to cope with stress, particularly when you're stuck or feel like you're at your wit's end. Many therapists specialize in helping people make peace with a devastating diagnosis. Your therapist can also aid you to become a more effective advocate for yourself, and may even assist you as you share your diagnosis with your family.

Take control of your health

Your doctor can provide you with lots of information about your condition, but no doctor can truly tell you everything. A life-altering diagnosis may leave you feeling helpless, but you can regain some sense of control by taking the reins to your own health. Some options to consider include:

-Reading studies and books about your diagnosis.

-Joining a support group 

-Questioning your doctor when you do not feel heard.

-Seeking a second opinion.

-Considering alternative treatment strategies, including massage, psychotherapy, or acupuncture.

-Embracing a healthy lifestyle, including plenty of healthy exercise and a balanced diet.

-Finding new ways to incorporate activities you love into your life.

Find ways to live with uncertainty

No matter how much treatment you undergo, how many healthy lifestyle changes you make, or how much support you have, you cannot control the ultimate outcome of your disease. Many people begin their journey feeling hopeful, only to feel crushed when a new exercise plan and miracle diet fail to cure them. Ultimately, you must find ways to accept this uncertainty and lack of control. The right strategy varies for everyone, but many people have excellent luck with meditation, which helps you live in the present moment while steadily working to ease your anxious mind. Enjoy today.